Its tonight. My appointment.
Fear.
I haven't told my boyfriend yet.
I can't. I don't know what to say. I don't want to see him droop and hear him try to make out that I should value his feelings about this over mine. Or get angry and call me stupid. I don't really want to go home. I have to tell him.
I can't lie.
But it is safer.
Why does he have to be like this?
Why is everyone like this? Why can't I just find a nice soul and be happy?
How is this going to work?
Where will he go when he leaves? How much money will it cost me? Will it be enough to mean I get chucked out of my flat?
My word.
Right now I just want to explode. I don't know, I need to expunge all these emotions before someone notices them.
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