This is just a collected list of everything I do, personally, to ensure my presentation is correct. I figure since there are so many sites out there, I might as well add my own information. Maybe especially useful to other UK transguys (or even transgirls if you flip the stuff on the head a bit) as I personally find some advice in the US sites to be completely erroneous or unnecessary for me!
I'm tired, so this is just gonna go up as-is; first draft, probably incomplete and confusing, but regardless, up it goes so I remember to finish it... Feel free to suggest anything you feel I've missed - I'm looking at you, UK transguys!
Appearance Stuff
At the moment I'm still pre-T, and I'm of average build, so I have curves to hide, yet I pass pretty well without being a bagman. I have practically no facial hair, though I shave every two to three weeks to encourage it - this is an old wives tale, apparently, but it also makes me feel manlier, and helps me getting over my hatred of mirrors. :)
Clothes
Ah, the worst part if you HATE shopping like I do.
This stuff assumes you have a semi-decent binder, like an Underworks 997 (I have two, I love them, though I fold them up above my belly as they ride up during the day). ---To clarify, I only wear one at a time. I do not recommend wearing two, ever!
Tops and shirts - if you're like me, you've always worn baggy clothes, long sleeves, hoodies, layers... All in an effort to not be seen. Throw that shit away. Though you can keep long-sleeved stuff that's not overly baggy. I'm a mens small, so that's what I wear. Men don't try to hide their figures - and I know plenty of guys who are curvy-looking. The trick is to make the curves blend in, which a lot of men's clothing will do anyway. For instance, I wear a lot of shirts, tucked in or not, even though I have hips. This is because the shirt is made for a rectangular figure, and thus sits out at the sides rather than clinging to my waist. That ) . ( shape is hidden by the folds of the material. The same goes for t-shirts. I tend to wear longsleeves because I don't have very masculine arms - I've noticed that even overweight blokes have some upper arm definition, and I do not.
Trousers, jeans - I've been cursed in my life. I was a happy little boy until I hit thirteen, when suddenly I got a Figure. Yeah, I'm unlucky enough to have a (slightly overweight) 'hourglass' figure. This means I have a weeny waist and a big arse and hips. Men wear their jeans low, in general, in my age-group (20+) so I have to buy them in a medium (32" to 34"), due to my fatty bits. This is actually a slight boon to my presentation, as the size of the trousers, being bigger than I'd need if I weren't cursed with an Arse, hides the curve of where my butt joins my legs, and wearing them low means my upper body seems longer and more streamlined - when a shirt is tucked in, and then arranged like they taught us in Army Cadets* it helps HIDE the arse, even though you can see it. The folds of material actually help hide the waist-hip curve, and the jeans being low also means that when you bend it still hides that thinner part of your body.
* Unbutton/zip your trousers, but pull them up. Tuck your shirt neatly, flat, into them - ensure it's not rucked up because this creates unseemly ridges. Then zip/button up. The shirt should be tightly tucked, now, and look and feel bloody ridiculous! Stand up straight, put your arms above your head, and bend your upper body forward a bit, backward a bit, then to either side a bit - still with your arms above your head. You should bend enough for about two or three inches of material to come up out of the waist of your jeans, but not bending at anywhere near a 90° angle! Now relax your arms, and arrange the freed material neatly, flattened down a bit over your waistband. Done! Now there's no restrictions on your usual movements, and the released material looks neat as well as helping hide your figure.
Socks, shoes - I actually fail miserably here, at offering advice, if the sites I've read over in the past are anything to go by. I wear sports socks all the time, unless I run out, when I'll go get some 'dress' socks and wear a couple of pairs of those. I actually have only one set of shoes - a pair of 'plimsoles' or canvas shoes that are a size too big (hey, they're pinstriped and they didn't have them in my size and I REALLY NEEDED new shoes that didn't leak! Also they were cheap!). The bonus in them being too big is that they're a good width for my feet (I have wide feet, I don't know if that's just me or a common trans thing..) AND them being a size bigger makes my feet look more in scale with me as a man. Men don't often have size six these days, but size seven is pretty common.
Jumpers, coats, hats, scarves - I don't know about the rest of the UK, but around here blokes are unlikely to wear appropriate outer wear until the dead of winter. It is very common to see other local guys wandering about in the rain in a t-shirt and little else, the important thing to note about this is we never make a big deal out of it. It's just water, right?
Coats are usually slightly oversized, and more often than not they're the current fashion because the shops sell the most fashionable ones off cheap.
Hats are usually beanies, baseball caps (ugh) or those flappy ear-warmery things. I like those, I need one, preferably fur-lined with those built-in headphones. Oh, lovely.
Gloves! I haven't seen a guy my age wear full gloves in years. Fingerless gloves are pretty popular, though. My mates often try and steal mine. I'm a sucker for armwarmers, which normally gets me tagged as a queer (which I don't mind, I identify as all-around queer!) but if you want to reduce the stigma, get some with thick stitches, and plain, deep colours. I use them a lot at work in winter because I need finger mobility, but I work in a factory where it gets really cold.
Scarves.. There's a 'man' way to use a scarf. But most guys my age don't wear them. Those that do tend to wear thick-knit, dark plain colours.
Jumpers aren't very common any more, are they? But basically go for something non-clingy, not too preppy (unless that's your circle) and not too chavvy. Non-clingy is the deal here. And guys in my social circle RARELY wear jumpers where the sleeves are longer than their arms, unless it's a big baggy thing, in which case, we tend to put holes in the sleeves for our thumbs to poke through. Nothing worse than having to do that girly hand flick to get your hand out of your sleeve so you can pick up your phone or whatever!
Accessories - In my area, guys wear backpacks pretty low, and satchels pretty high. Necklaces in my social circle are either a simple leather thong with a chunky pendant of some kind (like a dragon or a metal shape or a large shark-like tooth) or a surfery-beady necklace, usually chunky beads in brown or black. Wrist accessories are pretty uncommon amongst me and my mates, but I'd say chunkier stuff like leather cuffs and wooden surfery stuff would also be acceptable. I know a guy that wears a lot of shag-bands and such but he's quite feminine - nothing wrong with that, but it's what I'm trying to avoid this early in my transition, personally.
Hair
Oh gods, I hate sorting out hair even more than I hate shopping for clothes, and only a little more than I hate shopping for footwear.
Important notes are that overly short styles may make you pass less - at my age, the bone structure differences between biomen and biowomen are pretty obvious, so getting a grade one would definitely make me pass less. At the moment my hair's about an inch and a quarter long at the longest, and I've been passing really well, which was unexpected as I thought it made me look like a dyke (it's not what I asked the barber to do, you see). Apparently I just look like a sixteen year old gayboy, so that's good.
One thing I've noted is that guys in my social circle keep hair this length pretty scruffy - those with shorter hair tend to style the front bits up into tiny spikes or a mild quiff, and those with longer tend to have bangs in front of their eyes and keep it very neat.
That bit of hair, that's almost your sideburns? Trim it square. It's hard to do yourself, I get my step mother to trim mine now and then so they're even. But this makes a big difference if they're visible - I've not seen a single other guy with pointy hair in front of their ears, even the guys with long 'emo' kind of hair have square almost-sideburns.
Faint, fluffy or light facial hair really DOES make you pass less in my experience. Did I mention I shave about every two-three weeks? My middle-upper-lip hair is still fuzz, but I get darker coarser hair around the sides - when I let it grow out visibly, I pass less. I don't know if this is coincidence, but keep it in mind. Even if you don't have any visible hair apart from your usual fuzz, shaving the area you would shave if you were a guy can help you pass - that naked, slightly rubbery area of skin left over after shaving really does seem to help with passing.
Movement
This seems obvious, but around here, even gay guys do NOT walk with their hips. Not unless they're taking the piss. Then again, I live in a pretty homophobic area, so being as invisible as possible is a survival mechanism for me and my non-normative mates.
The trick is to use your shoulders. Imagine a line, right, about a shoe's width, similar to the ones the council paints to separate cyclepath from footpath? Now, a woman will walk with most of her steps falling on, or very close to, or at least right next to and parallel to that line. A bloke will walk with his heels touching it at most.
Now, use your shoulders. I'm serious, stand up, and to practice if you need to, do a pretend swagger - pump your shoulders up and down, forward and backward. You can do that without sticking your arse out? Now, cut out the swagger, and just move one shoulder a little up and forward - a few inches is enough for a small guy like me, and take a step on that side, then drop the shoulder slightly as your other leg passes the first and bring the other shoulder up in the same way as you put your foot down.
As long as you don't look like you're some swaggering chav, you're doing it! Walking (unobtrusively) like one of the guys! I have always walked like this, but I've seen videos of people trying to teach others to walk 'like a man' and they seem to fail miserably, so here's my input! I have to admit, my swagger gets much worse when I've been drinking..
We're rarely nervous, so if you want to go somewhere, just step out confidently and don't look nervously around or down at the ground.
In the UK, especially in my area, most guys do not step out of the way of ladies on the sidewalk - the women tend to move first. With guys V guys, it tends to be the bigger guy that doesn't move. I'm a gentleman, so I move out of everyone's way EXCEPT the little mean-looking guys I see. Guys don't often hold doors open for other guys - I only do it for older guys or guys with kids, or hot queer-looking guys, and of course, for any lady except the mean looking ones (and even for them usually, unless I'm in a bad mood)! This isn't because I think women are some kind of fragile little meeklings, but because other guys give me really odd looks if I hold the door open. Some women do, too, but I find a higher incidence of it in other guys, so, yeah, I stopped doing it to avoid getting threats to my balls.
Sitting down! Take up room. Spread your legs out, put your bag on the seat next to you (move it if someone needs a seat though, be polite!), look at the girls as they get on the bus (at their faces, you perv) but not at guys (unless you want to broadcast your queerness - as I've mentioned, that's not a good idea in my area). Don't cross your legs and if you do, do it so your ankle rests above the knee of the other leg. Tighter than this can crush your sensitive man-parts! ;)
Bathroom Etiquette
Now there's so much stuff about this on the net for us transguys, but so much of it is from the US. Nothin' wrong with that, but here's my perspective.
I'm a stubborn bastard. I refuse to use the women's loo. I don't have a passable STP method myself, yet; I can stand and pee without aid but it's bad for my dysphoria and also anyone within visible range would be in no doubt as to what I've got between my legs.
I've had a very bad experience in a men's room, but not a life-threatening one, and also a slightly amusing one, so I honestly recommend Not Using Men's Rooms If You Can't Convincingly STP.
That said, if you feel safe - in some places I do - here are some tips.
Never use a urinal next to another guy.
Never look at another guy. No, not even in the mirror.
If you're worried about passing, do it as fast as you can, don't wash your hands, and get out.
If you must use a men's room and can't STP, find a secure stall, get your foot against the door just in case, and drop your pants to your ankles. Sit slightly further forward than necessary so that your stream lands on porcelain not water - men do not piss into the water as it means we get splashed on. Also it makes it less obvious you're sitting to pee. (I know a couple of bioguys who do this, even in public rooms, because they're piss-shy, but it's still considered a 'secret shame' for some reason.)
If challenged, make a joke of it, hopefully you've at least got a passable packer, if you don't think it'll get you killed a joking response of "you wanna feel it?" can defuse an awkward situation - but you need the confidence of knowing you'll pass a crotch-grab because when in that frame of mind even drunken guys can be remarkably canny.
If you're in the in-between stage - you can't seem to use either room without issue (though, I refuse to use the ladies myself..) then you're really just going to have to either make a choice based on safety and confidence, or just develop some good bladder control. Unless I'm drinking, lately I've been relying on bladder control. I can wait for about four hours after first feeling I need to pee before I get so bustin' that I have to go find a disabled loo.
Packing
For me, my lower body is the biggest issue. I can enjoy my chest sometimes, in private, or in bed with certain people, but my lower body is a constant issue to me. A packer is more than a humorous-looking thing I leave by my bed when I sleep (unless I'm drunk, which means I leave my boxers on with my cock in there because I have been leaving it in really odd places and not remembering in the morning), it's more than that bit of silicon that occasionally I nearly drop when I'm in the loo. It's a huge part of my confidence in moving, it helps my walk, helps me sit appropriately, gives me confidence when talking to other guys (especially new ones, I use the 'feel it then' challenge pretty often and my packer does pass a grope 100% of the time. Possibly wouldn't with a gay guy, but meh.) and generally makes me feel a lot better about myself. I wear it all day - from the moment I get up to the moment I go to sleep. This isn't too good for them, though, and they wear out fast. I have to keep it clean, so I wash it each day or so when I have a wash, with simple soap and my hands. Then I get a clean, non-fluffy towel and pat it to get excess water off, and use plain non-perfumed talc to dry it the rest of the way. The talc is also slowly making it less vividly pink and more like a slightly blushed version of my skintone, thankfully.
I'm 5' 5", maybe 5' 6" at a push, and most guys my height would have a 3-4.5" flaccid wang, so, don't go and buy a huge one - you'll look like a pervert with a boner.
Binding
The best binder I've used is the kind I have now - an Underworks 997 (Double Compression). It's long, and if I pull it right down it helps compress my hips and arse, but rides up in a most uncomfortable way if I bend at all, so I fold it up above my stomach. I have a small, it does an excellent job on my chest.
I have also used a cheap T-Kingdom one with velcro at the side. This was a medium and didn't help much. I'd recommend getting one similar to the 997 if you buy from T-Kingdom. They're a bit pricier, but I reckon they're worth it, same as the Underworks.
I had read up on my binder before it arrived (it was second-hand, thanks Joe!) so that I didn't get tangled or anything. I still tried to put it on over my head the first time, because I could not see it going over my arse - this was a Mistake. I put my shoulder out and it hurt for days!
After that I put it on from the bottom up. This takes a while to get over my arse, and was adding about six minutes to my morning routine each day!
Then I read someone mention they pulled it up over their hips UPSIDE DOWN AND INSIDE OUT and then used the straps to pull it up over their upper body. This works AMAZINGLY well. It takes me less than two minutes to get into my binder with this trick. It's simply important to remember to push down and apart and tug it down a little once you've got the straps over your shoulders.
